When people brushed past her, she flinched
The touch of another’s hand would often cause her to
cringe
Her brown eyes would follow their footsteps intently
watching their way
She’d learnt her lesson in her younger days, she wasn’t
going to fall prey
Though her mother missed her, she liked living on her
own,
She was glad she had left her nest and away from it,
had flown
Her mother had showered her with love and provided her
with care
But the thought of home brought revulsion, there was no
way she was going back into that lair
This was her own turf where she had to fend for herself
Away from the place she had fend off monsters who had
hurt her little ‘self’
The memories of those monsters had left her bruised and
scarred
She tried to hide them under her clothes and her tired
but brave façade
She remembers when she was four,
Awaiting her cousins sitting at her front door
Hunched in a circle, they would tell each other stories
at night
But these couldn’t compare with the ones that gave her fright
The youngest in the family, the apple of everyone’s eye
Pampered and loved beyond measure, then, she wasn’t shy
Of all her beloved relatives, her paternal uncle had
been the best
Bringing her gifts and food galore, he cared for her,
at least more than the rest
He came visiting a rare day, when she was home alone
Bringing delicious jalebis, fond of which she had grown
No one refuses such sweet delight, to herself she had
thought
As she gobbled up and enjoyed the entire lot.
But then her whole world went hazy. Had she relished it
too much?
She fell to the floor, and then recoiled, as she felt
her uncle’s touch
There was a look behind those eyes that she had never
seen before
A tighter grasp that roughly caught her and pulled her
off the floor
Her hands went numb and feet went cold, she stared
blankly, totally aghast
Seeing his face inches from hers, was the moment she
remembered last!
When she woke up to her senses, she felt so ashamed
What was she to tell her mother? Could she be the one
blamed?
Her body wasn’t hers any more, it felt impure and
defiled
She felt dirty within her own skin and couldn’t wash
away the memory even if she tried
Her heart pounding, she made her way to her mother’s
room
Hard as she tried, she couldn’t describe how she had
just been consumed
Gradually she lost her voice and turned into a shell
Barely alive, she was living a different kind of hell
Her soul had been tampered with, it could never again
be whole
With her body and her mind, her innocence, he stole
She tried to come to terms with it and bravely faced
all
When he turned up home again, with his usual charm,
calling her a doll!
The terror that ran through her heart, she hid away
petrified
She tried to speak to her mother again but remained
tongue-tied
“How can that demon stand there, so brazen and so bold?
His desire has turned me into an object, an empty shell,
so cold”
The words remained in her heart and did not make it
through
His terrible act kept recurring till the age of twelve
she grew
Bearing this heavy burden, she had turned into a ghost
She had lost faith and hope in the people she loved the
most
Since she couldn’t find the words, in a letter she
wrote
That she couldn’t live life anymore and planned to slit
her throat.
This set off the alarm and brought attention to her
call
Her parents found the letter and saved her before her
fall
Now she lives in the city, she has left behind her past
A meagre income, a simple job, but enough for her to
last
The memories still haunt her, she cannot get over the
scare
She now walks around with a signboard saying, "I’m
broken. Handle with care.”
